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madhousewife 69, Female, Michigan, USA - 48 entries

Dec 2006
4:59 AM EDT

To be honest I can't think of three good things right now. I am trying this to help myself change and analyze things in my own life. I want 2007 to be a stellar year in my life. I have heard keeping a journal can help so wanted to try. My problem was not wanting a paper trail my family could read. They want to fix me or take my feelings and turn them into something about them. I suffer from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem and like all others I just want to be happy. In some ways I had a miserable childhood because of painful shyness, and constant critizism from Mom. I lost my youth in a too early marriage and motherhood. Don't get me wrong, my kids are my heart I just wish I had been older because being so young I wasn't prepared. I let them down in a lot of was because of my age. I didn't always like my kids, their friends, or choices, but I did always love and support them. My goal was to not be like my own Mother. Anyway ..I am hoping to work on myself and stop trying to rely on thers for my own happiness.

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1 comment(s) - 10:25 AM - 12/31/2006

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madhousewife 69, Female, Michigan, USA - 48 entries

Dec 2006
4:53 PM EDT

Time for resolutions. I'm not going to waste energy on the ysuals, as I know I won't keep them. I don't want to get carried away making un-attainable goals, that I will once again feel like a failure for not keeping. I will take each day as it comes trying to live in the momment. No getting stuck on what could have been, and no obsessing about what come with tomorrow. It always sound simple, but it isn't, it is very hard. I want to live my life without feeling like I should apologize, or worry about others getting mad. I want to become more spiritual, and find some inner peace to help me find patience. I will try to control the urges to go after rude people,and tailgaters, smash cell phones, and point out ignorance when I see it. My fingers are crossed for this new year!!

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New Beginning 47, Male, Georgia, USA - 3 entries

Dec 2006
4:10 PM EDT

Remember to pray the rosery every morning and confess your sins,because you fear Not going to heaven,and the pain suffering and fires of Going hell,but also because by sinning you offend God your Father,the One who made you,Always keep this in mind as you go through the day.

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New Beginning 47, Male, Georgia, USA - 3 entries

Dec 2006
3:11 PM EDT

-New Year's Resolutions-----I have never been such a firm beliver in resolutions because all one ever hears about them is how long the person could last until they ran out of steam and gave up,so instead,i choose to make a NEW LIFE RESOLUTION.In this type of resolution is one in which the person not only vows to take on a chalenge of bettering themself for good,but they do it simply through God's Grace, personal perserverance,and most importantly,PERSERVERIANCE.....in prayer,in learning,in defending what it is you enjoy,what you stand for,where you are, and where you hope to go,set a firm path,but be prepared to make it flexible,but never stray far from your origional plan for yourself.That Is My Resolution.1. To grow spiritaly in faith,.2.to grow in Martial Arts, and.3. to grow in learning.Yet again God,Martial Arts,and Education.

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mihi 48, Female, California, USA - 21 entries

Dec 2006
11:02 AM PST

Happy New Year to all! May you overcome your obsticales, obtain your goals and have a happy year. Happiness is a decision!

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New Beginning 47, Male, Georgia, USA - 3 entries

Dec 2006
2:50 PM EDT

-A channal-Martial Arts- Question: What are your thoughts when facing an opponent? Bruce: There is no opponent. Question: Why is that? Bruce: Because the word ''l'' does not exist. A good fight should be like a small play...but played seriously. When the opponent expands, l contract. When he contracts, l expand. And when there is an opportunity... l do not hit...it hits all by itself (shows his fist). Any technique, however worthy and desirable, becomes a disease when the mind is obsessed with it. To ME, Martial Arts Is a way of expressing myself,weather it be by abulities, my discontent with the opponent or with my surroundings;to me it becomes very speritual,very speritual like,to the point were my belifes in Chathoilsism intertwins with my depiction of martial arts. It then,puts everything in perspective,that all life is good and no body has a right to take it away,unless they are reacting to such an intent;that all of life is precious and is a blessing for each one of us, providing a balance BAD and Overwelmingly GOOD, I belive that both are nessary if we are to be content with this life we find ourselves traped in today.

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Gail 65, Female, New Hampshire, USA - 2 entries

Dec 2006
1:52 PM EDT

I'm looking forward to 2007, I am ready to do some kickass life changes. My esteem is great right now as you notice, But I do have a tendency to crash. Which is one of the benefits I hope I get from doing this journal. So If theres a buddy out there that needs my help as I need theres I'm here..

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slickboy 37, Male, California, USA - 20 entries

Dec 2006
1:35 PM EDT

On wednesday I was so sick that I thought that I was dying. I felt sick at night because my chest was burning up and I felt a little dizzy and had a minor headache. So I left and went to sleep at night.About 2 in the morbning Ifelt so sick and I woke up. I went to the bathroom and trew up afor 12 minutes. Later on I kept trowing and having a bad stomach paon for about 3 hours. This got me so sick and I felt like crying but I didn't. In the morning my toungue was black aqnd I felt scared. My mom and dad also felt scared so as my problem got worser my mom took me to the hospital to check up on me. The nurse told us that I had a stomach flu.Then the doctor that was going tio check up on us had a little attitude with us. But I was to sick t o fight back so my mom had an sargument with the doctor and he didn't curred us and we left.Then I was dizzy as hell and my mom took us to the pharmacy and gave us medicine. Later on at night I started felling better and I was happy that I was curred.

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slickboy 37, Male, California, USA - 20 entries

Dec 2006
1:19 PM EDT

Three good things that happened to me today was very amazing. First I went to church because it was new years eve and I had to be in the House of the Lord. I was very happy because I felt good going to church and living my sins behind me.I kinda started a new life. Second is that I am spending time with my family and we are gathering many celebration with other people. Our entire family are going to go out and watch movies together and then came back home to celebrate. Last but not least hasn't happened to me yet, but tonight is the last day of 2006 and we are going to celebrate and get a li ttle drunk for the new years day. This has been our tradition for a decade and its very fun. We gather with each other and dance and make sure everyone is happy and having a good time.

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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Dec 2006
10:55 PM EDT

only when it feels wrong is it truly right. only when other people's worlds come crashing down does yours build itself back up. only when you try not to try do you truly try. not til you imperfectly perform do you perform perfectly. get the job done. it doesnt matter. cant you see your one and only purpose and source of happiness in life? it is empty. it is hollow. it is void. you must achieve it or else you will be running in circles 20 times over in the wrong direction. you will be running further and further away from the truth. you must seek that truth, find that truth. i will make it a goal this year to hit that ultimate truth. i dont care what it takes, who i hurt along the way, or how long or what path i take along by doing it, just as long as it gets done because it must be done because ther eis no other way and i am sick and tired of wasting my time. this is a matter of time and truth. this is a matter of achieving everything for only yourself, for once in your life. this is about being ruthless. this is about fighting for yourself instead of letting other sociopathic people step all over you and use you and talk ill behind your back. this is a fight. a fight for oneself. what others may commonly misconstrue as vanity is actually your art and your goal for yourself. its a fight. its an unsteady course of seeking the ultimate revenge against the unfair pain you experience in large doses throughout life. this is a fight. this is a fight you must go about. it matters not if you win or not. just as long as you FIGHT. just as long as you TRY. nohing else matters. fight it. fight the feeling. fight it. fight the anxiety. fight it. fight the urge to seek comfort and indulgence. fight it. fight. fight. fight. dont let others get in your way...fight them. fight it. fight against your utrges. fight against your needs. fight against your wants. fight it. fight against the emotions. fight. fight it. fight against your earthly will. fight it. fight against the temptations. fight against wellbeing. fight it. fight against sympathy and weakness. fight it. fight for strength. fight. fight for yourself. fight for you. fight for no one else, for no one else will fight for you. fight the fight.

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